The Backdated Teaching Entry

Alright this post has been backdated for a VERY long time now, and now that the emotions come running back to me, its about time I finish up this post and post it for everybody to read, finally...

Its been close to two months now, two months since I left Teck Whye Secondary school. Two months might seem a long time, but trust me, when you leave something you love doing alot, it really seems only like yesterday that you stopped.

Every time I feel overwhelming emotions overcoming me in camp, be it sad, annoying or any other feeling, I can't help but view photos of my acquaintances and teaching days so as to keep me calm and settled..

It might seem funny, but the image and personality of the teacher in me has never really left me since I stopped. In school, I used to have this professional teacher image whose students addressed him as Mr Zul or Sir. I thought all these qualities of a teacher in me would leave the moment I stopped teaching but well my friends, I actually brought them into camp.

Just for your information, in camp I am quite a well known guy. LOL! Seriously, not notoriously thank god. I never actually did anything to make myself stand out, but somehow my platoon mates and instructors found out about my background as a teacher and they never fail to be interested in my teaching adventures and they'll always make me tell them about my job as a teacher. Hence this story spread round and the ENTIRE company of 160 people or so now knows, even the people I don't know. Having people you don't know approaching you for your experiences is quite an honour, and I found this a really good opportunity to open up and start making new friends.

Its really weird, yet after almost five weeks I have finally come to accept the fact that the guy in camp goes by the persona of the Cikgu and not this boy called Zulhafiz. Trust me, there are some who don't even know my name thanks to this prevailing nickname... haha!

Well I'll elaborate this more in my future posts... Okay back to my teaching experiences, I must say that I really am beginning to miss my teaching days.

Dina's entry on her last day made me reflect and reminisce upon the good old days I had with my students.

I remember the very last day I had with my students was a really bitter sweet experience. On one hand I really felt so very satisfied and proud of my students cause my very last day was what made me realize the impact I had on them. Eight weeks worth of teaching, I saw all the reaps of success on that very day, and seeing how much my students have grown since the very first day I took them for lessons, it just made me all the more happier for these students who have pride and passion for all that they do.

I remember my very last lesson with Class 3J, the video I showed the class and the cards I gave them which made them tear. I admit, seeing the tears come out from the girls and even the guys touched me up to the point I could not talk, cause I swear, if I were to say something, I would end up with tears welling up in my very own eyes. It was that emotional.

I also remember the many pictures I took with my students to prepare me for my last day as well as for my NS days.. Yes, those were the days.

Words cannot express how much I miss these little students of mine, those who made me mad yet apologetic with their innocent "I wont do it again" faces, those who made me smile, those who teased me with my height and age, those who were really close to me, I really want to relive those days.

I guess I'll let the pictures do the talking! :)









All these were taken on my last day, with many many more in facebook so you can go see if you want to. And this sums up my last day of teaching entry, the entry I never got to complete due to NS nervousness issues at one point in time...

The memories may have been long present
But not even time can take them away from me

It's four more weeks to the end of my recruit life!

Freedom is in the air. Can you smell it? Okay fine, not total freedom, but well at least it is partial freedom to be able to go home everyday after these four weeks end. Nobody to confine us, threaten us, order us around all the way.

Yes, I'm looking forward to that..

Its 12.53 am. I should be sleeping now but I'm not. Well, not cause I want to stay up late. Its more of because I can stay up late.

Makes sense?

IT'S A MAD MAD WORLD

Let's face it, Adam Lambert is an awesome person. If you haven't already known who this guy is, you have obviously been away from the face of this Earth and you should definitely check him out. For someone who has not been watching American Idol at all to like this guy, it certainly speaks volumes about how good he really is.

I love songs, yet I never really get blown away that easily unless a singer sings really well and manages to infuse his own emotions into a song. He doesn't need to try to do so, cause if it's there, then it's there. Somehow though, this one song sang by Adam Lambert during one of the performance absolutely blew me away beyond words. I heard this song on radio whilst in camp and I was immediately captivated by it, immediately wondering what the title of the song was and who the singer was. A stunning take on a song so beautifully written, and personally if I were Simon I too would have given him a standing ovation. Take a listen and soothe your souls my friends!

Mad World (Cover By Tears For Fears)

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me

Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World

This may be based upon feelings of children but if you were to analyse it closely, this really is not too far from the harsh reality we all feel from time to time. As humans it is only normal for us to desire attention and love, yet sometimes we just do not get what we want. We feel left out, we feel alone when we try to fit in. We try to seek someone to speak to and hear us out but there's nobody, nobody, that would fulfill our need.

The human species can indeed be an irony come to think of it. We know what we want and yearn for, basic human rights and emotions, yet we are ignorant enough to understand the basic human rights and emotions of others.

Are we all not humans?

Since when has life been a bed of roses? It has never ceased to be thorny to me at least and sometimes I feel life can be rather unfair on us.

Just a month ago, I had to deal with separation, which to most of us is never an easy thing. NS was calling me, and I had no choice but to leave my students and teaching colleagues to settle for life in Civil Defence for 2 years. 2 solid months teaching these young individuals waiting to blossom into useful people of society, and I already developed a strong relationship with these bright kids. What not, I was known as a teacher by name, but here the fact was that I was just a mere few years older than them. I was more of an older brother to them all, and I could relate to them, their needs and their wants as I was of a similar age group. Just as this relationship started to strengthen, it had to be taken away from me due to my NS commitments. It was really hard on me, but finally I learnt to let go.

NS was tough as well, not so much physically, but more of the mental aspect. Everything I once had was taken away from me, and every single book in was dreadful for me. I thought I never would make friends and I'd be alone, but these five weeks proved me wrong as I made some really awesome friends who stuck by me through thick and thin. They took care of me when I was sick, made sure I was able to sleep through the night soundly, stood up for me when others tried to tease or take advantage of my weaknesses and many others. They made me feel like life in NS was worth it.

Now comes the hard part, as these people were selected for the firefighter course. I had the opportunity, but due to personal reasons I had to reject this offer. Now, as I book in, I'm all alone without these familiar faces I once knew. All I'm left with are the rest of the platoon with characters that can be rather undesirable and not really that I am comfortable with.

Just as I was about to love my NS life, this has to happen. I can jolly well break down and sulk, but I firmly believe there has to be an explanation for everything that happens in life. I am going to stay strong, and I hope to be able to adapt to this new life I'm going to experience starting tonight. Wish me luck.

Whatever that doesn't kill you makes you stronger

I MISS MY PINK IC

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I do miss my pink IC at times. This is to remind me that I'm no longer the civilian I once was ...
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To my readers who have not much idea about NS, this is called the 11B and it's used to replace the pink IC for 2 years. 11B, awkward name for a card ain't it?

I MET DAVID ARCHULETA

Another wish fulfilled, which was to meet and greet David Archuleta personally someday.

I know I'm a guy, and I'm not into him cause he's cute or so as girls call him, rather I am really envious of this boy whose so talented at 18. His voice is just breathtaking and one can never get sick of his songs as they are simply melodious and soothing on the ears.

Right after bookout, I rushed to the new Iluma Shopping centre to catch him perform. I was contemplating on whether to go and after much thinking through, I finally decided to go for the showcase as its not everyday we get to see David Archuleta perform live in Singapore.

His showcase consisted of four songs and personally it was really well worth the effort and time spent. Professionalism at its peak, and one more thing that caught me about this boy is how humble he is despite his glorious achievement. Admit it, none of us have ever been this successful at 19.

After the showcase, I got a chance to get my CD autograpghed by the man himself. Looking at him, I smiled and led out my hand in an attempt to shake his hands. He eventually returned the handshake, and when I told him how honoured I was to be able to meet someone as talented as him, he smiled back and replied that he was just as honoured to be able to meet someone like me.

One might take it to be a casual cliched remark every celebrity uses to catch the attention of his fans but somehow, I felt the sincerity in his words. Here is a performer, a future successful one and I really hope that he makes it back here to Singapore for another showcase. I'll definitely go should I be free on that day.

So whilst I was lucky enough to be able to meet and greet the man himself, Sahira on the other hand managed to get a photo with him, something I was unable to do as security was guarding him as if President Obama were the one visiting Singapore.



She's got another one of her wishes fulfilled as well! I would love to have a photo with him as well, but never mind maybe next time. At least I got a chance to talk to him and meet him in person right Sahira? Haha! You deserved it, you really worked hard for it and I'm proud of you! :D

David Archuleta, check. Whose next? :)

Just a little thought before I leave for camp,

Is this world really a world ruled by perceptions? Would something we detest and do not like doing turn into something we would enjoy doing if we tell ourselves to enjoy doing it?

REPLIES

And time for replies:

Joyce
Hey there! I could not tag your board! It said I was banned! How come arh? You ban teachers from tagging ah? HAHA! =P Hope you're doing fine!

Joey
Hey! It was harsh, and its now getting better, so I hope i'll cope well with it. Hope it doesnt get brutal next week. LOL! Thanks for always cheering me on Joey! You take care, and you press on too. I'll be here for you guys when you need me! :)

Vivian
I enjoyed my newspaper collections as a student too! Its like the time when you get to interact with your friends and teachers in the midst of helping community. How cool's that? HAHA! You guys press on for your exams okay?

Syazwani
HEY SYAZWANI! haha serious? Awww thats great to know! I love writing, but I'm really bad with tunes and rhythms, hence I don't think I'll ever be a lyricist! HAHA! I do hope that its possible someday in the future.. Thanks for the comments, appreciated it! I wonder if you know about tunes, maybe you could help me tun-ify my poems. LOL! =)

Shasha
LOL yea la, im pretty sure you were testing the waters to see if I was manlier after 2 weeks in NS back then. Im stronger now you know? LOLL! yes of course you're nice la, my friends are all nice people, especially youuu! =P And seriously? The cat one was ingenious! To think all of us believed.. Now I feel so silly, LOL! You're great at coming up with such stuff ehh? =P

Dina
YES I FELL FOR THE CAT THING! And I was like, Dina wants to leave us for her CAT? HAHA! Goshhh you guys ah! Now when I think back, I laugh at my myself wondering how I fell for it! =P Thanks for the compliments, and YES GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE! I think Ain fell for it too, soo that just shows how clever we all are! HAHA!

Cass
8 weeks? Fast? It passes by so slow please! I'd think working is better, at least I enjoy what I'm doing and the pay is so much better. The pay I'm getting is meagre, and although it can be considered as me working, I don't like the work I'm currently doing lor! lol! Hope you're doing fine!

Lyana
HELLO THERE! :) Thanks for dropping by! I left you a lovely tag too! Go read. LOL!

Syafiqah
Hello there syafiqah! Thank you very much for the compliments. Im glad you enjoyed the read. It really depicted how I felt the first few weeks. How are you?

Tyqa
Yes the weather is my dear student! Great for sleeping eh? Grrrr... hahaha... Yes i'm booking in tonight! dang!

Yee Xin
53 days! I started work on 12 january and its now april, time passes so fast! haha..

CRAVINGS

When you get back from camp, the only thing you wanna do is to satisfy all the cravings you've been having all week long after an entire week of exhaustion, average food, average drinks, some nice friends, a couple of stuck up people, and many others, not to mention the more than frequent punishments :)

Hence during my weekends, I settled my craving by:

1) Eating out at Earls Swensons with Syakirah, Iliyas and Haziq. This was MY TREAT! :) Outing with them was great and I really enjoyed the meet up with them at Vivocity. Just talked about life and I guess we must have bored Syakirah out with our NS talks! HAHA! I'm sure she learnt a thing or two about NS life after that. I had a salad bar buffet there as well as a hickory smoked chicken which was awesome by the way. Iliyas was hilarious, he told the waitress I wanted HORNY smoked chicken out of accident. The entire table laughed! =) Tsk tsk iliyasss...

2) Watching "Coming Soon" after eating. This was ILIYAS' TREAT! :) The movie plot was awkwardly lame, but I think that its quite a scary movie. The built up to the scary scenes were awesome and they mess around with your mind. At times you expect things to happen but it doesnt. At times when you dont expect them to happen, the ghost comes out of nowhere to scare you. Its quite a good movie in terms of scare value =)

3) Devouring down cake at Secret Recipe after the movie. I really wanted to eat cake soo badly I asked them to Secret Recipe so I could fulfill my wish to eat cake. HAHA! All four of us had different types of cakes and we tasted each other's cakes. I took the White Chocolate Macadamia Cake. Awesome stuff! I'd want to go back and taste the other cakes there some day! Anyone?

4) And finally, topping the day off with ICE CREAM at Earl's Swensons! This was HAZIQ'S TREAT! hahaha... So I guess all the guys treated the gang to something at the end of the day. Ahh its been ages since I had ice cream, and enjoying 8 flavours in the company of 3 other lovely people was just awesome. We were discussing about Haziq's erratic behaviour and we were imagining how it would be like if Haziq were to go on a date. Go figure and imagine, it would be rather funny! =P

Ahh I guess I satisfied my cravings finally, all except one, which is to have ice blended caramel coffee with java chips from Starbucks! HAHAHA! Gosh, NS really makes you crave for good food once you're out :) Remind me to get this on my next bookout!

Before I go, I'm suddenly addicted to Jai Ho by the Pussycat Dolls. I didnt really like the song on first hearing, I found it quite a nonsensical song, but somehow now i LOOOOVE the song! Watched the music video, both the hollywood and bollywood one and I think this song is perfectly awesome. I wanna watch Slumdog Millionaire, I heard its one of the greatest movies so far which won many oscar awards...

JAI HO! :)