Finally, the day I have been anticipating arrived. Time really has a way of taking away everything from you. It passes by really quick when you're anticipating something you absolutely dread. NS. That two lettered word every guy just hates to hear. I know it is a process in which many have gone through and survived, yet for some reason I guess it all had to do with the negative perception I already had about NS which I simply refused to change. Too many horror stories I heard, well not literally, but in the sense of unmerciful instructors and uncooperative bunkmates. In fact that was my number one fear, unmerciful instructors who would not hesitate to push us all beyond our limit and punish us for every single thing possible.
I still remember trying to psycho my thinking at the final few moments before my enlistment. I tried telling myself life would not be as bad as I predicted it to be. Things would go fine if I just minded my own business and not get into the bad books of others. As my parents accompanied me to camp for the very first day, my mind was filled with emotions ranging from the mounting anxiety of what to expect there as well as sadness from having to leave my friends and family and not see them for over a week. The walked me all the way to the enlistment area, and there we separated. That was the last time I saw them.
I was alone in the enlistment room. I scanned my surroundings to observe the other recruits enlisting together with me. Some of them were exactly like me, alone with emotions of fear written all over their faces. Others just could not care less that they would be enlisting, They had friends and were busy chatting and anticipating what was next for them.
After enlistment we were brought into a multi purpose hall for our oath taking. The usuals for a uniformed organization, taking an oath makes it an obligation for those enlisting to abide by the rules and promise to protect their country. I got a first look at my instructors then. All so young, buffed and looking ready to whip us all into shape. I swear, one look at these instructors and I had this very uneasy feeling that I would actually manage to pass my IPPT under them.
Well, good or bad, I'll leave that for you to decide.
As for the details of what goes on in camp, I don't think I'm actually allowed to elaborate so I'll just summarize and say that its a very regimental life I am living. A life which requires lots of patience, discipline and tolerance for without them, emotions could run really high.
I must say though, that I actually like the instructors allocated to our company, well most of them at least. They do scold and punish us for our mistakes. They possess authority, yet they know how to use it well and not flaunt it just cause they know that can do so. Indeed, professional Grade A instructors.
Personally for me, I am coping fine although it is inevitable that the feeling of homesickness still lingers within me at times. I'm a rather reserved person, and I have made it a point to keep a low profile, so I hope that I'll be able to interact with my bunkmates better these coming few weeks.
The first week was a roller coaster ride for me. Coming from someone with absolutely no military background, everything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong and I found myself getting scolded quite alot.. There are times I feel its not my fault, but fine we all have to learn to to take criticism with a pinch of salt.
Its alright, I'll bounce back and hopefully perform better for my next week in camp. Wish me luck guys :)
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
ENLISTED
For all of you who have been pestering me to upload a picture of my botak self, consider it done.. :)
I actually had doubts about how I would look, but hey, I don't think I look half as bad la ... haha!
Dearest friends, seniors, students,
The time to enlist is already here. Thanks all of you for your kind words, SMSes, everything! You guys have been really encouraging and I'm very sure I will be able to spur myself on with all your help ... Don't worry, although I'll already be in NS, I will never forget any of you in the civilian world and don't worry, I will still find time to blog during the weekends. Do remain a loyal reader ya! LOL!
I'll see you guys soon, and I hope I'll manage to adapt fast and fit in well!
You guys take caree!
P.s: Students, you'll have to wait a little longer before I upload my final teaching post! Enjoy schooling!
Monday, March 9, 2009
FATE
There are times where we feel things do not go our way, and we question why this has to happen to us. Its a harsh reality that life itself is not a bed of roses. True, there are times where we want things to happen and they do, but not all times they do for sometimes, things just take a turn in the completely opposite direction.
I've always asked myself this, if things do not go our way, who would be blamed for it?
Of course the most obvious thing to do would be to firstly to blame ourselves. Blame ourselves for not having enough passion, for not having enough commitment, for not being dedicated enough to actually go all out to achieve what we set out for. There are times this does apply to us, and we realize that we fail due to our own shortcomings.
However, if we are certain we have given in our best 101% in a certain something and things still do not go our way, what's next?
I just experienced my fair share of this a while back last week. I know I have tried my upmost best in my A Levels, and I know that all that hard work I have put in was indeed tremendous, yet when I think of it, it really does not reflect upon my grades at all. I got really average grades of a CDD, C for Maths, D for Physics and D for Chemistry. I know I passed it all, but I definitely did not want to settle for such grades especially after seeing how well some of my friends performed during this exams.
Perhaps I should just start accepting that result and move on. I used to fail my Maths and Sciences with U's all the way for my JC life, so if we were to take a look at the bright side, it definitely is a huge improvement aye? :)
You see the difference between optimism and pessimism? There are many different ways of looking at things, it's all in the way we choose to view things. Many at times, things can be viewed from a different perspective, so whether the glass if half full or half empty depends on us most of the time..
I guess for those of us who already tried yet got such results, we could think that perhaps this is our fate. Often at times, there are reasons why things happen. They don't happen just to hinder us, rather they happen to ensure we become stronger individuals who will be able to cope with obstacles better. Perhaps it is fate that led to such results as by achieving such results, it could lay the path for us unknowingly for future success.
You get my point? If you were to take a look at the world's most successful people, all of them have actually experienced failure at one point in their lives, and it is this failure that actually helped them achieve their current status, believe it or not.
Albert Einstein, Martha Steward, these are household names linked to success who have failed at least once during their younger days. Albert Einstein was a school dropout and Martha Steward has been sentenced to a jail term before, so if these people can do it, we can too. We should stop looking at failure so negatively for it could possibly lead to a future success!
On the brighter side for me, at least I managed to score a B for my GP =) Seriously, getting a B for english is not easy at all and I'm really glad that I have managed to achieve this grade. At least I will be able to live up to my name as an English teacher of Teck Whye Secondary school...
=)
I've always asked myself this, if things do not go our way, who would be blamed for it?
Of course the most obvious thing to do would be to firstly to blame ourselves. Blame ourselves for not having enough passion, for not having enough commitment, for not being dedicated enough to actually go all out to achieve what we set out for. There are times this does apply to us, and we realize that we fail due to our own shortcomings.
However, if we are certain we have given in our best 101% in a certain something and things still do not go our way, what's next?
I just experienced my fair share of this a while back last week. I know I have tried my upmost best in my A Levels, and I know that all that hard work I have put in was indeed tremendous, yet when I think of it, it really does not reflect upon my grades at all. I got really average grades of a CDD, C for Maths, D for Physics and D for Chemistry. I know I passed it all, but I definitely did not want to settle for such grades especially after seeing how well some of my friends performed during this exams.
Perhaps I should just start accepting that result and move on. I used to fail my Maths and Sciences with U's all the way for my JC life, so if we were to take a look at the bright side, it definitely is a huge improvement aye? :)
You see the difference between optimism and pessimism? There are many different ways of looking at things, it's all in the way we choose to view things. Many at times, things can be viewed from a different perspective, so whether the glass if half full or half empty depends on us most of the time..
I guess for those of us who already tried yet got such results, we could think that perhaps this is our fate. Often at times, there are reasons why things happen. They don't happen just to hinder us, rather they happen to ensure we become stronger individuals who will be able to cope with obstacles better. Perhaps it is fate that led to such results as by achieving such results, it could lay the path for us unknowingly for future success.
You get my point? If you were to take a look at the world's most successful people, all of them have actually experienced failure at one point in their lives, and it is this failure that actually helped them achieve their current status, believe it or not.
Albert Einstein, Martha Steward, these are household names linked to success who have failed at least once during their younger days. Albert Einstein was a school dropout and Martha Steward has been sentenced to a jail term before, so if these people can do it, we can too. We should stop looking at failure so negatively for it could possibly lead to a future success!
On the brighter side for me, at least I managed to score a B for my GP =) Seriously, getting a B for english is not easy at all and I'm really glad that I have managed to achieve this grade. At least I will be able to live up to my name as an English teacher of Teck Whye Secondary school...
=)
Sunday, March 8, 2009
RANDOM RAMBLINGS
The teaching blog entry will come soon, the moment my brother uploads the pictures onto the computer, so hang in there guys! :)
Today is Sunday, and usually on Sunday I look forward to it the most, cause its the day I get to relax, and following that its HEY MONDAY and I get to meet up with my students and teach them..
This time round, however, things are different...
The good times ended, and darkness starts to fall ...
Tomorrow seems dull and frightening, and I don't ever want tomorrow to come...
NS in 2 days...
Can you sense the excitement in my words? No?
Today is Sunday, and usually on Sunday I look forward to it the most, cause its the day I get to relax, and following that its HEY MONDAY and I get to meet up with my students and teach them..
This time round, however, things are different...
The good times ended, and darkness starts to fall ...
Tomorrow seems dull and frightening, and I don't ever want tomorrow to come...
NS in 2 days...
Can you sense the excitement in my words? No?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
LET GO
2 more days before I bid farewell to Teck Whye.
I'm not willing to, I'm not ready to do so
I still care so much about these students I now take under my wings
Thank you very much NS, 6 days...
I'm not ready to let go...
Sunday, March 1, 2009
WHEN ANXIETY KICKS IN
It all seemed so real..
The day came, and he met all his friends. Bonding aside, everybody looked so suppressed with a thousand anxieties, waiting for the exact time for the designated letter to appear before them.
This time, it was no longer about trying to outwit each other. It was all about exceeding their expectations and doing well to get into the course of their choice. Everybody wanted everybody to do well of course, for the feeling of seeing someone left behind dwelling and crying non-stop was simply an unbearable one.
The principal came and gave his address. He was pretty sure not one of them was actually listening attentively to whatever the principal was saying. Everyone was just too scared.
His speech ended and the awaited time finally arrived. He walked towards his teacher and took his result slip in hand. He looked at it, took in a deep breath and finally started tearing slowly the edges to reveal whatever was inside.
He told himself, accept reality. As long as he passed all his subjects, he would be happy enough to just get an A Level Cert. The A's didnt matter anymore, for he had completely lost hope in actually doing well. What he wanted was just to pass well enough to enter the course of his choice, which was to become a teacher.
He took a look at his Maths grade, he got a B.
He took a look at his Chemistry grade, he got a C.
He took a look at his Physics grade, he got an E.
Any scholar would have probably burst in tears at seeing such results, but not him. He was actually calm, as if he expected that his results would turn out that way. Quietly, he heaved a sigh of relief, thanked god for helping him through and allowing him to pass all 3 of his H2s when he had no confidence in actually passing all three.
Then he looked further, and to his dismay he saw a C. The subject he was best at, General Paper, he got a C. He blinked, he winced, he rubbed his eyes, but it still remained as it was. This was when disappointment finally set into him, as he began to feel like a useless being. He was truly expecting an A or at least a B, not once was he expecting to do so badly at this subject. He was sad, but he just kept quiet. The tears just could not come out as he started thinking through his future plans.
This wasnt as bad as he expected. He passed it all, at least. He got a full cert. The anxiety was finally over he could finally move on with his life. NS is in four days, so that's what he should be looking forward to. Closing this chapter of his life as he opens another chapter and begin filling in the blank pages.
All of a sudden, the scene went blurry and he felt as if he was shrouded in a mist of foggy air.
He woke up, cold, drenched. The pages of the book he thought he closed just sprang open once more. No, the nightmare was not over just yet. In fact, it was just beginning...
The day came, and he met all his friends. Bonding aside, everybody looked so suppressed with a thousand anxieties, waiting for the exact time for the designated letter to appear before them.
This time, it was no longer about trying to outwit each other. It was all about exceeding their expectations and doing well to get into the course of their choice. Everybody wanted everybody to do well of course, for the feeling of seeing someone left behind dwelling and crying non-stop was simply an unbearable one.
The principal came and gave his address. He was pretty sure not one of them was actually listening attentively to whatever the principal was saying. Everyone was just too scared.
His speech ended and the awaited time finally arrived. He walked towards his teacher and took his result slip in hand. He looked at it, took in a deep breath and finally started tearing slowly the edges to reveal whatever was inside.
He told himself, accept reality. As long as he passed all his subjects, he would be happy enough to just get an A Level Cert. The A's didnt matter anymore, for he had completely lost hope in actually doing well. What he wanted was just to pass well enough to enter the course of his choice, which was to become a teacher.
He took a look at his Maths grade, he got a B.
He took a look at his Chemistry grade, he got a C.
He took a look at his Physics grade, he got an E.
Any scholar would have probably burst in tears at seeing such results, but not him. He was actually calm, as if he expected that his results would turn out that way. Quietly, he heaved a sigh of relief, thanked god for helping him through and allowing him to pass all 3 of his H2s when he had no confidence in actually passing all three.
Then he looked further, and to his dismay he saw a C. The subject he was best at, General Paper, he got a C. He blinked, he winced, he rubbed his eyes, but it still remained as it was. This was when disappointment finally set into him, as he began to feel like a useless being. He was truly expecting an A or at least a B, not once was he expecting to do so badly at this subject. He was sad, but he just kept quiet. The tears just could not come out as he started thinking through his future plans.
This wasnt as bad as he expected. He passed it all, at least. He got a full cert. The anxiety was finally over he could finally move on with his life. NS is in four days, so that's what he should be looking forward to. Closing this chapter of his life as he opens another chapter and begin filling in the blank pages.
All of a sudden, the scene went blurry and he felt as if he was shrouded in a mist of foggy air.
He woke up, cold, drenched. The pages of the book he thought he closed just sprang open once more. No, the nightmare was not over just yet. In fact, it was just beginning...
Friday, February 27, 2009
MEMORIES FROM WEEK 8
The students from 1F were really awesome! They were all excited when I wanted to take a photo with them.. HAHA!
Josephine and Samson, my dearest RTs that I spend most of my time with! I'll miss you guys...
Mdm Lim! She was one of those guiding me on how to teach English as a subject :)
Ari and Hidayat.. Part of the gang which I hang out with after school usually.. These boys rock, seriously...
BEVERLY! She insisted on this pose when I wanted a nice formal shot.. Don't ask me why! =p
This picture doesnt do me justice.. Sobs, would you be able to tell who the teacher is if I weren't wearing a different outfit? LOL!
Malay Sec 1 boys! They're really nice boys whom I love chatting with!
Anthony from 3C! He shares music with me...
Vivian! She is such a chirpy girl who greets me with a smile every single morning..
The 2E students.. The funny, hilarious, cheeky ones =P
One week left, and this week is goinna pass by really fast
The countdown just got to a smaller number...
11 days to NS, and I'm down to my final 5 days of teaching next week...
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