WHEN ANXIETY KICKS IN

It all seemed so real..

The day came, and he met all his friends. Bonding aside, everybody looked so suppressed with a thousand anxieties, waiting for the exact time for the designated letter to appear before them.

This time, it was no longer about trying to outwit each other. It was all about exceeding their expectations and doing well to get into the course of their choice. Everybody wanted everybody to do well of course, for the feeling of seeing someone left behind dwelling and crying non-stop was simply an unbearable one.

The principal came and gave his address. He was pretty sure not one of them was actually listening attentively to whatever the principal was saying. Everyone was just too scared.

His speech ended and the awaited time finally arrived. He walked towards his teacher and took his result slip in hand. He looked at it, took in a deep breath and finally started tearing slowly the edges to reveal whatever was inside.

He told himself, accept reality. As long as he passed all his subjects, he would be happy enough to just get an A Level Cert. The A's didnt matter anymore, for he had completely lost hope in actually doing well. What he wanted was just to pass well enough to enter the course of his choice, which was to become a teacher.

He took a look at his Maths grade, he got a B.
He took a look at his Chemistry grade, he got a C.
He took a look at his Physics grade, he got an E.

Any scholar would have probably burst in tears at seeing such results, but not him. He was actually calm, as if he expected that his results would turn out that way. Quietly, he heaved a sigh of relief, thanked god for helping him through and allowing him to pass all 3 of his H2s when he had no confidence in actually passing all three.

Then he looked further, and to his dismay he saw a C. The subject he was best at, General Paper, he got a C. He blinked, he winced, he rubbed his eyes, but it still remained as it was. This was when disappointment finally set into him, as he began to feel like a useless being. He was truly expecting an A or at least a B, not once was he expecting to do so badly at this subject. He was sad, but he just kept quiet. The tears just could not come out as he started thinking through his future plans.

This wasnt as bad as he expected. He passed it all, at least. He got a full cert. The anxiety was finally over he could finally move on with his life. NS is in four days, so that's what he should be looking forward to. Closing this chapter of his life as he opens another chapter and begin filling in the blank pages.

All of a sudden, the scene went blurry and he felt as if he was shrouded in a mist of foggy air.

He woke up, cold, drenched. The pages of the book he thought he closed just sprang open once more. No, the nightmare was not over just yet. In fact, it was just beginning...